Tips to ROCK Your Boudoir Session

& get the most out of your experience

You’ve booked your boudoir session, and you’re ready to do the damn thing! As a professional boudoir photographer who has shot over a thousand clients, as well as someone who JUST did their own boudoir session a couple of months ago - here are my tips on how to rock your own boudoir session so you can get the most out of your experience.

1. Don’t fight the nerves!

There’s a 99.9999% chance you’re gonna be nervous leading up to your session. This is NORMAL and part of the process! Don’t spend more energy guilting yourself over being nervous, or getting more nervous because you’re nervous (that is a negative feedback loop you don’t need in your life). Just let those nerves be! Let them tell you what they are there to tell you: that you are excited (nerves and excitement are physiologically almost identical), and that you are doing something outside of your comfort zone that is new and wonderful! Breathe, relax, and lean into the excitement you are feeling around your session.

2. Find ways to connect with your body leading up to your session

Boudoir sessions are a wonderful mind-body connector, but you can even deepen that experience on  your shoot day by doing some work before your session. Take yoga classes, book a massage, do a dance class, find ways to connect with your body that make you feel good doing them. A boudoir session should be all about celebrating yourself – and you can really elevate that experience by prioritizing ways to connect with your body that bring you joy!

3. Pick outfits that make you FEEL good

I have something controversial to tell you. I know this might come as a surprise, but what you wear to your boudoir session is ultimately not that important. THERE I SAID IT.

But it’s really not. So, you know when you’re nervous about something, and your brain picks ONE thing to obsess over and fixate on? For boudoir shoots, it tends to be your outfits. And I’ve seen a lot of people’s anxiety fixate on what they wear. But ultimately, if you picked a professional trustworthy photographer, it doesn’t matter what you wear. We want you to FEEL good in what you wear, because if you FEEL good in what you wear, you’re gonna look good. You can honestly wear anything to your session. Ratty old t-shirt? Yup. A robe? Yup. Bra and panty? Yup. Super expensive lingerie? Sure! Dusty ol lingerie that’s been sitting in the back of your dresser for 5-10 years that you never get to wear but hey you finally have an excuse to wear it? THAT WORKS TOO. Or the classic: if you don’t know what to wear… don’t wear anything at all!

Just focusing on finding things that make you feel good in them, that FIT right. It’s better to have outfits that are slightly too big than slightly too small. We a’int shoving ourselves into clothes that are too small anymore. It’s 2023. We aren’t meant to fit clothes, clothes are meant to fit us.

4. Moisturize, moisturize, and then moisturize some more

You want your skin to glow and catch the light and look luxuriously soft in camera? It’s time to whip out that body butter, baby. This is also a great opportunity to connect more with your bod and create a lil ritual around moisturizing your skin. Spend time indulging in this process, being intentional, and thinking lots of good grateful thoughts around your bod while you lather up that moisturizer.

5. Spend some time the day before your session grounding into your body and the experience

Stretch lots, dance in your session outfits, moisturize, breathe, meditate, and maybe even journal about your upcoming session. The more time you can spend letting those nerves out through intentional movement practices, the better set you will be the day of your session. Movement is SUCH a great way to work out those anxieties, and let yourself feel into that excitement leading up to shoot day.

6. EAT before your session!

Posing may look effortless, delicate, and natural. But it a’int. Posing takes work, there’s a lot more arching and holding mildly-uncomfortable positions than you think. And we want you to be prepared! Your body is a beautiful fire that deserves to burn bright, and food is the fuel that will help you do just that! We highly recommend having a nice high-protein breakfast the morning of your session. Like we said before, it’s 2023 and we are so past starving ourselves because we’re worried about bloating. NOPE. We are here to celebrate the best version of yourself – and that version requires some sustenance. If you aren’t much of an eater in the mornings, pack a high protein snack for later in the morning once you’re in the hair and makeup chair.

7. Last but not least - trust your photographer and listen to any prep guides they may have!

If you’ve booked with a professional and reputable photographer that you trust, now is the time to just lean into that trust and know that they have got you, boo. If they have prep guides, follow the advice they give. Let them lead you through this experience! We are here for YOU!

This blog post is a love letter to everyone who booked a session with us this year, or came to a retreat, workshop, group photoshoot, or just lurked on the internet and hearted our content, replied to our posts, or shared in our Facebook Group.

Thank you for allowing us to continue creating art, sharing art, and living our dream.

Thank you for allowing us to wiggle our ways into your heart and plant seeds of self love, celebration, and beautiful rebellious thoughts of self-love, body-love, and adoration for SELF.

We would not be able to do this work without all of you – so we are forever grateful.

The end of the year is one of my own personal faves, because I love reflecting on all that transpired over the last trip around the sun. Here are some of my fave memories for 2022 for you to relive with us.

Thank you for being here - we are in awe of you.

With all our love,

Your Moss Team – Misty/Molly & Anne Marie

BARE SOUL RETREATS.

In 2022 we were able to be around people again, laugh together, and make memories together. We drank up every moment in which we could do so. Starting with our first ever retreat collaboration as Bare Soul Retreats in Tofino. This photography self-love retreat was a labour of love with Rosie Bitts, and we were so grateful to be able to share it with the attendees.

MUSES GARDEN PARTY.

Back in September, on the autumn equinox, we said goodbye to summer with a garden party & group photoshoot. Our first official group photoshoot, this event felt like the self-love version of Bridgerton. It was such a beautiful way to come together as a community, and we can’t wait to host more in 2023 when the weather turns warm and beautiful.

THE WORKSHOPS.

In 2022 I had the honour of hosting not just one, but TWO dark and moody photography workshops at my studio to help other photographers and creatives learn the ropes of creating painterly boudoir photography. I’m so grateful to be able to help educate other creatives – this is definitely something I plan on leaning into next year, because it really lit me the f*ck up seeing everyone get nerdy with me about lighting. Can’t wait to share more inspo and knowledge this year!

Of course, 2022 wouldn’t have been complete without our wonderful associate, Anne MariE.

In 2022 we officially brought on Anne Marie as our associate photographer, who was previously just hiding in my instagram and emails corresponding with babes behind the scenes. It was time to bring on a second set of hands to help with the influx of clients we wanted to help capture + be a part of their transformational journey. I could write a whole ass paragraph about how special this woman is - and one day I probably will! But for now I just wanted to share some of the incredible art she made with some of her clients in the studio this last year!

and that brings us to… the sessions of 2022.

I am beside myself with gratitude for everyone who came in through our doors this last year. We made so much beautiful art, heard so many stories, were able to be a part of so many self-love journeys and journey’s of self celebration.

Thank ya’ll so so much – here’s to the next year creating art and capturing ya’ll as the magical works of art that you are!

This is my body. Naked and vulnerable.

As I explored and dove deeper into my research on masculinity I realized that many men are not happy with their bodies. Of course, we are told that we must look a certain way. That’s hegemonic masculinity. We must be big, strong, lean, aggressive. But why? How come we never teach men the parameters of self-care? And even when we do it comes across as feminine, as something that is inherently wrong. Something that is not masculine.

Remember, masculine and feminine are just social constructs anyways. Do whatever makes you glow.

My body doesn’t look like what it did a few years ago. But I’ve come to accept it. Maybe I should have done a photoshoot like this when I looked my “best” but mentally I knew I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t love my body the way I do now.

The ironic part that I found is that many people that are comfortable in the gym (regardless of gender) may not be comfortable being naked around their partners. I know this to be true because this was also something I went through. Many can perform for a crowd but it’s the intimate moments that make us feel vulnerable. Vulnerability isn’t easy. But it’s a skill we can hone.

Perhaps the naked body is a metaphor for the Self…completely unraveled, exposed. If you’re comfortable being naked, are you comfortable with your Self? Maybe…I’ll come back to that in my studies.

Looking back, self portrait photography is probably one of my most consistent forms of self expression. Even in middle school and high school I was taking selfies. And more than just the shot-in-the-mirror selfie, I remember setting up my camera on a tripod, composing shots, and directing my vision into a reality. 

When I started taking self portraits the healing + therapeutic nature of it wasn’t my main intention. I’ve always used selfies as a way to express myself creatively, to play with concepts inside my mind, and to document my journey and vessel. 

The healing that comes in front of the lens started revealing itself slowly over time, in the form of various lessons and emotions I needed to confront.

Self portraits, especially intimate + naked ones, really magnify your internal thoughts and force you to sift through them. 

I feel like I wouldn’t have confronted half my inner squidgy feelings if I didn’t have my self portrait practice. It would be so much easier to hide from both my inner and external worlds. 

But selfies really bring those two worlds together - they bring me fully into my body, even when that is a hard thing to do. It makes me see and feel all aspects of my inner and outer world, and work to consolidate any misalignment between the two. 

I’ve learnt a lot about myself over these 15+ years through my self portrait practice. Here’s some of my biggest reasons to jump in front of the lens and start your own self portrait practice:

1. Your journey through life deserves to be documented

We live in a truly wonderful time that photography is so easily accessible to us. Long gone are the days of only the elite few having access to a camera or a photographer. Now, everyone has a camera in their pocket. This gives us the chance to document SO much more of our wonderful world – including our own personal journey’s through it. Your journey through life is a story worth documenting - even if it’s just for yourself. You deserve to have images of yourself in all stages of your life.

2. You can work on your emotional toolkit in front of the lens

Stepping in front of the camera can be super vulnerable - but also incredibly rewarding. Selfies, if we let them, can illuminate areas of our mindset that need gentle attention. By stepping into our self portrait session with mindfulness at the forefront, we can begin to restructure our negative self talk. Instead of letting our inner saboteur and self critic run the show, (ugh those voices can be such a buzz kill), we can tell those old limiting beliefs to hit the damn road, and start to replace them with healthier narratives that better serve us.

3. It is a space to create that is entirely within your control

Being photographed by someone else is wonderful and also a super rewarding process, but one of the greatest things about selfies is that you get to call ALL the shots. This is a creative container all about you, babe! And how fun is that? You can run wild with any ideas that come to mind, and really flex your creative muscles. This space can be the ultimate container for unapologetic self expression.

4. You get to see yourself fully (and work towards embracing all versions of yourself)

One of the scariest things about self portraits is also one of its greatest super powers.

There’s no one else culling your “out takes” or getting rid of your “unflattering” photos. You get to see yourself in all your unedited glory. If approached with curiosity and tenderness, this can be incredibly transformative over time. We all know the feeling of seeing a photo and thinking “…I look like that?” Sometimes our bodies do things we didn’t know that they did. Or they look a way we had no idea – just for a split second in time. Seeing our bodies represented in all their glory allows us to sit with these feelings, and make peace with them. To realize, sure, my body looks like that at this one time for this one second. But it also looks a million other ways in different moments of time. It’s just a moment, and it’s just a bod existing within that moment. Approaching our self portrait practices with a mindset of curiosity and exploration can vastly change the way we perceive and think about our wonderful bods.

5. For no other reason than you deserve to feel good and worthy of photographing

‘nuff said my loves

If you’re an artist, a photographer, an entrepreneur, someone who enjoys creating just for the hell of it, or someone aspiring to be one of the former: then this is for you.

How to do you tap into your creativity…. especially when you’re burnt out, tired, overscheduled, overbooked, depressed, mentally ill, neurospicy, fatigued… the list goes on. How the f*ck are you supposed to find that inner creative that resides within you, when you have a mountain of “buts” in front of you? When there are about 10 different things at any given time, vying for your attention and trying to suck your energy?

If we lean into what we love instead of soldiering toward what we 'should,' our pace quickens, our energy rises, optimism sets in. What we love is nutritious for us.

Julia Cameron

1. Listen

Listen to your heart, to your soul. Close your eyes, take ten deep breaths, and listen to your internal world. If you can meditate: better! If you can’t: breathe, be still, and listen for as long as you can. Ask your internal self what are you curious about? What do you LOVE to do? What are you missing from your life that you feel a pull towards? Spending even just ten long breaths of time listening to your inner world will often illuminate inner desires, needs, wants, and creative whispers that are waiting to get out.

2. Write

Write down your inner world - the loud, the messy, the chaotic, the tired. Julia Cameron (author of the Artist’s Way) advises writing every morning. When I was following her recommendation of stream of consciousness morning pages every day, I was flowing in creative ideas and energy. However - when you are just starting out, finding time to write out your inner world even just once a week can make a big difference. It also helps to have these ideas in paper, to revisit them later when you are feeling stuck - or reflecting on how far you’ve come.

3. Schedule the damn time

Ah, the “but” to stop all creatives in their tracks. “I don’t have time.”

If it is important - we find the time. We have time for social media scrolling, for binging our favourite shows, for checking out and letting our brains consume instead of create. What if you scheduled into your week/month one creative date with yourself. Block it in like a Doctor’s appointment: non-negotiable, gotta show up, time blocked appointment. It could be an hour, a few hours, a whole day (wow the things you could create in a day!) Block in time with yourself to just explore and be curious. Go for a walk and photograph the flowers. Sit by the beach and collect rocks that you like. Make tea and doodle for an hour. Do anything that feels like PLAY - not something you have to do; but something you want to do.

4. Be bored

In a digital age we are inundated with content constantly. Instagram reels, TV, Netflix, Youtube, Facebook… the list goes on. Try turning your phone off for a whole day and see what difference silence makes. Let yourself be bored. Let your attention wander to the way the wind lazily blows through the leaves of the tree outside your window. When you are bored, you are open to new ideas - you are listening to your inner world, and to the creative ideas that want to be heard.

5. Don’t pressure yourself - creativity ebbs & flows

Don’t guilt yourself for not feeling creative. Instead, write, play, stretch, take the pressure off. If we are creative beings inherently, all of our life in itself is art. You don’t need to be actively creating something to be making art. How you live your life, how you love yourself is in itself: art. (cheesy, right?) But it’s true. So revel in the process. Revel in the ebbs, in the flows, and everything in between. We’ve got enough things in life stressing us out and trying to stifle our inner artists: don’t let your own self-sabotage be one of those things. Breathe. Listen. Play.

Blog post photos featuring Luna Yen - pole performer, and creatrix extraordinaire!

“Self-worth: is that feeling that you’re a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”. -Merriam-Webster

The dictionary definition of self-worth may describe a feeling of worthiness – it’s important to also consider self-VALUE. Self-value is how you act towards what you value; and that includes yourself.

Many of us can get our sense of self-worth tangled up in the trap of comparing ourselves to others, and in turn we create a warped view of ourselves based on external opinions. We place too much value on comparing ourselves to others abilities, appearances, and achievements – rather than honouring ourselves as we are.

Achieving, or not achieving a goal has nothing to do with your worth as a human. What really matters is that how fulfilled are you with the process of doing whatever it is you’re doing (the magic really is in the journey, not the destination).

You are the heart and centre of your life. You are the epicentre of your joy, your self-worth, your journey. You are both the destination, the journey, and the driver.

So fire up that engine, and make sure you top up the oil in your self-worth machine. Because if you can keep that fire burning, no matter what life throws your way, you will always have yourself to depend on.

You have something that nobody else in this world has; your unique views, opinions, creativity, intellect, physical abilities, character traits, personality, life story, values, morals, ethics, and most importantly – inner voice.

You are your greatest superpower.

You are deserving of love and respect, no matter what. When you see the worth in yourself regardless of outer influences or experiences, the value you hold towards yourself shifts, and as a result alters your actions going forward. You have your own back. No matter what happens externally, you hold the power in your own life.

Claim your worth – your beautiful, important, unique, authentic, and powerful identity - because you’re the only YOU in this world, and you’re f*cking incredible.